.. even Sara. I hadn't been honest withher, and even though I wasn't sure what would happen if I told her thetruth, or at least what I believed to be ...he truth, I could've tried.As I reached the final verse of the song, I could feel tears rolling downmy cheeks, no doubt ruining my makeup. But I didn't care. I just let themusic flow through me and continued to sing and play."Never was much of a romantic...I could never take the intimacy...And I know I did damage...Cause the look in your eyes is. What the fuck? Why was she going out?She called out for her mom and said: Mom!My heart sank in fear as my aunt replied: Yeah!Is she going to tell her? Bloody bitch, she’s crazy, she can do anything. Fuck!But then, to my relief, Swati said: I am going for a bath, don’t knock my door until I come out.Damn, I was so relieved. This girl is unexpectedly sweet and really clever. She just made an easy, clever arrangement to put a tag on her door. A tag that said, “Do not disturb!” Fucking clever! She. I swear the clerk gave me a funny look, but that still didn’t compare to the look Dana gave me as I unpacked the cleaning supplies.“Cleaning the office isn’t going to work if you keep making a new mess everywhere you go. And I won’t be able to tell if you are really clean if we don’t get rid of some of that hair.” Dana had wispy pubic hairs already, even for a natural blonde. But shaving her bald would only add to the humiliation. And the more that she accepted today, the more I was certain she. We always acknowledged each other, though we didn't always talk. When we did it was always the same; how did we feel; how were we coping; what options did we have?The day I'd been dreading finally arrived. My mother's birthday. I'd booked the day off work, well the night before to be accurate, because I knew I'd be a wreck, though in hindsight that wasn't a good idea as it gave me far too much time for contemplation. I decided to visit the grave earlier than usual as I didn't want company, even.
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