” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how m...ny different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and. David? Get down here! My heart stopped. I knew it was my mother- Racking my brains to come up with any feasible reason for her to sound so suspicious apart from her knowing about Ali. I couldnt think of anything. She sounded pissed, I knew I was fucked before I even reached the bottom stair. Standing in the middle of our hallway was my mother, and I traced the accusatory look on her face to the sets of muddy footprints that were tracked across the wooden floor, from the front door to the stair.. “It looks like this place is going to close soon.” Said Kevin, “Let’s go to a club or something.”“We could go to my place.” Said Wanda, “it’s not far and I’ve got plenty of booze.” We were all a bit tipsy and agreed to head off to Wanda’s. We piled into two cabs, Kevin and Paul with Nancy and me with Wanda and Sally.“You look hot tonight, girl.” Wanda said to Sally.“Thanks. I just had to go home and change before coming out, it was too hot to go out in a suit.”She looked absolutely incredible,. She let me into her room, and we sat on the bed. I was going through the motions of looking for my notes, knowing that this was just a pretense. There was an unstated vibe that we were not there to go over my notes.I looked up from the notes and Jan’s lips were about two inches from my face. I leaned forward and our lips met, her plump full lips pressed against mine for a few seconds and then she placed her hand on the back of my neck and pulled me into her, our lips crushing and our tongues.
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