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I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom I’ll show you how it works.”Drunk in France-true eventThis actually happened...to an Englishman, in France, who was totally drunk.A French policeman stops the Englishman’s car and asks if he has been drinking.With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malt scotches. The Captain provided the story of how the soldiers fought off a dozen bandits only to learn that their lieutenant had died in the battle.The truck returned and the soldiers were given empty guns to hold. Some of the soldiers had seen and heard the horizontal lightning bolt that struck the car and were not interested in disputing anything we said.The radio in the truck was used to call in a report. This would bring a lot of unwanted attention so we got in the remaining undamaged limos. Our. My brain’s cogs and pistons started cogitating, “ So you’re off when?”“Tuesday through Friday,” she answered, “His Lordship know?” Tracie shook her head, “Not yet! Thought I’d surprise him Monday night with the news!”“Right then. Don’t tell him yet and how about I pick you up outside here next Tuesday lunchtime and you can pick where you want to go, we can have a bite to eat and I’ll have you back home at whatever time you have to be there?”“If only I could Steve, thanks for the offer but, well. It was a safe answer.“So, what makes you happy?” I pressed.“A decent conversation with a man who doesn’t use the term “like” over and over,” she replied.I had to test the waters, so I challenged her wittiness by shooting back, “So would you like to to…uh…like to get a bite to eat and, like uh, pick up some . . .like uh . .some condoms and like uh, find . . . like a . . .a like a . . .private place to like uh, you know, like, have some fun?”My student-union-friend chuckled as she hand-waved a.
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